Coolio to headline Falls Festival
Music legend and cultural icon, Coolio "Cools" Coolio, best known for his work under the moniker "Coolio", has been named as the headline act for this year's Falls Festival. The festival, to be conducted simultaneously in both Tasmania and Victoria, will feature the world's most established and loved rapper, father and impregnator of Michelle Pfiefer perform alongside several dozen weedcarriers and future baby muma back-up dancers. At this stage reports indicate that long-time "bestie" Lynn Valley will not be appearing.
Other acts named in the first line-up for Falls Festival 2012/2013 include: The Vaccines (not be confused with culturally significant band The Vaselines), SBTRKT (not be confused with techno trailblazers MSTRJJFDTKT), Boy and Bear (not be confused with the most boring thing your brain has ever consumed), Beach House (not be confused with the Betty Midler movie Divine Madness) and Best Coast (not to be confused with a sixer of West Coast Coolers aka "a great night in"). The Flaming Lips are also playing.
In other news, the ticket lottery is now open. Get at it.